Insights

Well, i've been mainly babbling about nonsense which no one in their right mind would be bothered about....which clearly notes something is very wrong with me...but whatever i've not been the one to care much for other people's thoughts about me...or am i? i'm kinda facing an identity crisis right now..."a subjective sense as well as an observable quality of personal sameness and continuity, paired with some belief in the sameness and continuity of some shared world image. As a quality of unself-conscious living, this can be gloriously obvious in a young person who has found himself as he has found his communality. In him we see emerge a unique unification of what is irreversibly given--that is, body type and temperament, giftedness and vulnerability, infantile models and acquired ideals--with the open choices provided in available roles, occupational possibilities, values offered, mentors met, friendships made, and first sexual encounters."

Thus, i've been doing a lot of stuff lately to try getting a better perspective of what i intend to do with myself in the future and have reflected on the deeds i've done and things like that. I can't really say that i've come up with much but all i know is that i definately do NOT want to live a "relatively normal life". I mean seriously, repetition of daily activities for the duration of one's life is kinda dull is it not? So does it surprise me that what i do nowadays seem EXACTLY what i'm trying to avoid doing. Not really. With the looming shadow of school life and the tiresome problems of adolescence i guess its pretty normal for kids to be awfully repetitive in their daily lives. However, i ain't complaining that much. Its kinda like a case of win some lose some. Except i tend to win more...after all, not everybody has travelled to half the places in the world when they're only 15.

Anyways, i'm trying a new approach in my blogs now. I've read some of my fellow blogger's blogs and their moments of incredible amusement(for the readers of course) so i said what the heck and decided to give it a shot.

Today was a Saturday and well during MOST Saturday's people go out and take the town. I went to a local shopping centre as most kids do in this day and age. However, today was a mildly special day as the Young Enterprise Programme( some programme to expose young kids today to the trials and tribulations of business) of my school were having their Annual Sales( a weekend where they sell the stuff that their handmade items,with themes that differ each year ,that they've been making for HALF a year to the public.) I decided to pop in for a visit with the false pretense of supporting my school.

My true intentions of going were of course to escape daily life and also to scope some of the girls from OTHER schools participating there too. I was not disappointed. There were many of them there but only a tiny speck stood out.( I suppose its perfectly normal for school boys to look at school girls isnt it?) Anyways, aside from the girl scouting a friend of mine brought along her distant relatives from california. One of them, a guy, hung out with me and my pals(who were also here on the false pretenses of supporting their schools). All in all, i wasnt too bad a day. Oh, and i finally watched Wedding Crashers. Sweet,sweet movie it was.

Omnia Mutantur,Nihil Interit

"Omnia Mutantur,Nihil Interit". Everything changes but nothing is truly lost. Saw that from the 10th volume of the Sandman chronicles. It got me thinking of how our lives change day by day but when end up staying the same in the end. A revolution of some sort where we start out and wind our way back to where we started no matter what we do. I've had this experience and i intend to share it with any who pops by my blog. There was this boy.He wasn't very smart, or very good looking but he had..perhaps..imagination. Always lost in a world of his own creation and oblivious to the real world. This all changed when he met Her. He saw Her once or if he was lucky.. twice a week. They didnt talk much..hell, they didnt talk at all and(like those incredibly soppy romance novels) she didnt notice him much....perhaps she didnt even know he existed. How he learned of Her name i havent a clue but this he did. It was admiration from afar and whenever he retreated to the world in his mind he would often think of Her as his very own heroine or damsel in distress. He wanted to get closer to Her..talk to Her but he lacked the spine to do so. Then came a day where he could not see Her at all. It was a depressing moment for him and he cried. He ACTUALLY shed a tear.Nay, tears. Years after he would look back upon that moment and laugh but deep down he knew that he would've done it again, and again and again if time repeated itself.He eventually forgot how she looked like but things have a funny way of turning out. True enough almost a decade later, she came back into his life. Unfortunately, he did NOT fall in love with her instantaneously and confessed his lifelong love for her and they wound up happily ever after. THIS,after all isnt a novel by Nicholas Sparks(an author of romance novels for those of you who dont know). He was surprised to see Her and couldnt believe that it was actually Her. But alas, 9 years can do many things to someone and all that he felt for hHer was already long gone. Well ALMOST everything. There was still an odd nostalgia and a hint of a smile that is lost as quickly as it surfaced everytime Her name is mentioned but that was all. Things change, but nothing is truly lost. Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit.

Sympathy For The Devil

There comes a time when a person finally opens his/her eyes and sees the world in all its glory.It is a dreadful time where one views the world as nothing but a cold deceptive bitch.The lucky ones finds this out quickly and therefore remain relatively sane,the normal ones find it out eventually and their sanity remains totally if not mostly intact whereas the unlucky ones find it out a lil too late and notice that their dreams are actually nothing more than misty deceptions and false hope.Here's my point of view. I've seen "inspirational" taglines that you'll most probably find incredibly funny or ignore totally.Once i actually looked up and told myself that words like this actually meant something.Now..i would think twice about that. What am i talking about? Well its those sentences like "Treasure Your Friends", "Be Nice To People and People Will Be Nice To You", and stuff that usually would ask you to be an utter saint. I aint saying that these sentences and it ilk are WRONG. Heck i wouldnt even know how to....i'm babling..i'm just trying to say that HOW are we supposed to actually be GOOD when everyone else is just trying to get you to do the OPPOSITE.Which means...CAN saints actually live in a world full of sinners?The answer is YES..with buttloads of perseverance and perhaps even a job(firemens,police,doctors,yada yada yada)but i aint talking about them, i'm refering to the general public who's main shoutout to any problem would be "EVERYMAN/WOMAN/CHILD FOR THEMSELVES!!" and "It's a dog eat dog world".Usually i'd go on and on about how sucky humankind has been but this aint no project to write the wrongs of the human race.Nay, far from it. Its only a viewpoint of a simple 15 year old.Anyways...what i'm meaning to say is...For a world with an estimate of 6,525,605,731 and more everyday,it does seem kinda lonely doesnt it?

Shit happens...constantly

Hmm...well...in the weeks..nay, months since my last entry nothing much has happened.. aside from one very,very traumatising experience.Well first of all i'd like to say that nothings happened to ME but still it happened to a friend..a friend whom i've known for say about nearly 7 years now. He's a dude and he's a lil bit chatty at times but one of them friends that are oh-so hard to come by now a days...neways..well here's the story, he was walking from point A to point B(point B which was a church) which wasnt very far either in the middle of the afternoon. Everything seems normal when BAM it happens. Well.... nobody is entirely sure what happened so i wont say nothing about it.Just the fact that he got his front portion of his skull(around the forehead) fractured.Plus, he was in a coma and he's now half unconcious.Dont ask me what half concious means though but i was told that he's Half in Half out.Get what i mean?? Oh...and i almost forgot.DId i tell you that he was only 16 years old?Well now i have.Now dear readers, i will kindly ask you how the FUCK can shit like this happen??Man,nobody knows how he'll be after he "fully recovers".We ARE after all talking about damage to the brain and from what i've heard COUNTLESS times is that whatever you do, do NOT mess with the pound of stuff up there in your skull.Sheeesh. I'm pretty scared for the dood,I mean shit like this is BOUND to have repercussions...hate being a pessimist but yeh cant dismiss the fact altogether y'know?Loss Of Memory,Mental Retardation,Being A Vegetable are only a few of the things that could happen to him....*sighs*He's a smart,young,passionate youngling with the world as his oyster. By the gods i hope that he'll come out okay.....when i first caught word of this i thought it was some kinda sick prank or something but no, unfortunately it was the truth....cripes..its all comes down to this i suppose shit happens constantly and always in an instant and no slower than that.With only 1 life and the expectancy to expire after 75-80 years after production is kinda lame. So,do whatever you want/must/can/should/would for there may not be another chance to do it.

Of Good,Evil And Beyond

Well...I've been thinking about this for sometime now.Good and Evil. Supposedly acquired by adam and eve via the tree of knowledge or something like that..(hey i dont read the bible!!so dont ask me for the specifics) So, because of our intimate knowledge of good and (most probably) evil, we(as in humankind) got our asses kicked out of paradise.If you ask me..i think it was a good thing. I mean, there is a saying that goes like "too much of a good thing can be bad"...or something.Its TRUE! Where's the challenge when everything's all nice and perfect...SUUUUURE its easy but it'll be just bloody boring. Anyway,back to good and evil..seeing the modern world we live in where evil and sins are just an everyday oddity we read in the newspapers. For example "suffocated baby found in plastic bag in the trash" or "maid in coma because of corporal abuse" so on and so forth. Evil is everywhere and we dont seem to be bothered...much.I'm not saying that there isnt any good in the world but seriously ..its a dog eat dog world and everyone has the everyone for himself mentality.This is most depressing seeing that the good people in this world are the minority. It truly is sad. The people who offer help are seen as a means of constant exploitation. And whats with the people with the as my mum said it herself "self-righteous macho" act ,the infamous "holier-than-thou attitude" or just being a pompous prick. I mean they put themselves as the people of higher class when they're just in the same sick diseased world we live in. Through this it is plainly obvious that honour too is also scarce among the people of earth. Honour among your friends. Honour among your family. Honour in the outside world.Honour for yourself. It is all that and more.We are good,evil and devilishly sly.Each one of us having the ability to shape the world into something better than what it is now OR quicken the world's descent into hell.It is the choices WE make.Not God or his host of angels.Not the Devil or his legion of the damned. They're just the audience of the movie called "Earth and How Quickly Humankind Can Fuck It Up". God bless the freedom of speech

Return Of The Dark Knight

ZOMG...its been like a millenia since i last added something here....and yeah...i think i should start bloggin again.after all our mothers always taught us not to waste something needlessly.Well its been nearly like what...1 whole year and i think i lost a little...nay..a LOT of spunk(if i had any that is) that i've had (which makes it a whole lot worse if i didnt have any in the first place) and through continuing where i left off i hope to regain some of my lost jedi-quasi-dimensional-uber powers(cut me some slack here i'm desperate).Anyway,I'm more or less same from the old sebastian in the physical sense except a lil addition of height and perhaps dare i say...WEIGHT??? and then some.My life and social life has improved a lil since a year ago..i'm actually starting to notice girls rather than trying to make out with the ps2...(lol) and thats about it...okay i can't seem to think of any changes so i'll just list down whats similar.
a)fucked up face
b)crazier than the joker
c)still a lil tanned if not just a little bit more
d)still have perfect eyesight.
okay thats about it....not like any of you know how i look like but lets just pretend you do..TEeheheheh..and thats it for now....
"Here's looking at you kid"-Rick Blaine

Hack the system.Discover the truth

"Anarchism has but one infallible, unchangeable motto, 'Freedom.' Freedom to discover any truth, freedom to develop, to live naturally and fully."
--Lucy Parsons
"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
--George Orwell
"..it does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority to set brush fires in people's minds."
--Samuel Adams
"The most powerful weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."
--Stephen Biko
"[The state] can't give you free speech, and [the state] can't take it away. You're born with it, like your eyes, like your ears. Freedom is something you assume, then you wait for someone to try to take it away. The degree to which you resist is the degree to which you are free..."
--Utah Phillips
"When in the course of.. development, existing institutions prove inadequate to the needs of [sentient beings], when they serve merely to enslave, rob and oppress [sentient beings], the people have the eternal right to rebel against, and overthrow, these institutions.''
--Emma Goldman[quote modified by Neo for relevance.]
We go on, day by day, hour by hour.
We go on.

Random thoughts

Its been awhile since my last post but then again i dont have much to say anyway...here's my newest installation.Enjoy

I incur someone's wrath when I breathe
I incur someone's wrath when I touch
I incur someone's wrath when I look
I incur someone's wrath when I am bad
I incur someone's wrath when I am good
I incur someone's wrath when I am hurt
I incur someone's wrath when I am alive
I incur someone's wrath when I am happy
I incur someone's wrath when I am sad
I incur someone's wrath when I succeed
I incur someone's wrath when I fail
I incur someone's wrath when I love
I incur someone's wrath when I am passionate
I incur someone's wrath when I try not to
I love when I am not supposed to
I have passion when I am not supposed to
I have steel when I am not supposed to
So in this place where I live in ..what am I supposed to have?
It is the thing that keeps me going
It is the fire that burns when I am out
It is the ice that is in my eyes wherever I look
It is the bitterness that comes whatever I taste
It is the abyss that is my love
It is the ravine that is my hunger
No, it is not you. Neither is it love. No far from that.
Ladies and gentleman, hate is eternal and so is love
It is two sides of the same coin.
We cannot love without hate
We cannot hate without love
Unless.......you are me.

Vampires

Vampires.Homo-nocturna as we people have so convineantly invented for them. You have to wonder who they are, how they work and most importantly, what does it feel like to be among them. Stalking and hunting people in the depths of night....amking us look like Coca-cola bottles waiting to be popped.Well scientifically speaking its quite sensible...think about it.....Vampires are dead creatures OR things that cease to function. Maybe that is why they require blood...to function...like petrol for a car.And the engine...well u might have guessed it...the heart. Thats why you have to stake it.Whoever OR whatever made vampires had thought a lot about it though dun u think..hah. anyway shifting from scientifically to metaphorically. if vampires did exists i wouldnt think they would advertise their presence....i mean come on so much power and if us greedy, scheming humans somehow managed to get a hold of it or maybe shape it, it would be byebye for their kind.So if they actually DID exists how would it feel like to be them??Imagine being almost invincible.Anyway if they did exist we would have probably heard abt them or their killings more likely heh..As for the "type" of them , there is the Anne Rice type which are the elder vampires... with dark gifts to power them and there's the Max Shrek type or if you are more familliar with the Nosferatu title which are the ugly but strong ones. With long fingers to curl around their victims necks or stuff like dat anyway dats all dat i can write for now so......................... Au Revoir!!!

Perfection(this may well be anything but good)

Perfect. Perfection they say comes with a price. In todays world perfection is everwhere anywhere and nowhere. For example do you remember saying "Mmm.... this coffee is just perfect!!" or "My would look perfect with this handbag.." etc etc. Yet there are people who say things like "Nothing in this world is perfect" or "Nobody but god is perfect". If you ask me , i think god has made his/her share of mistakes . What mistakes you ask me? Well he made....us. His presentation of himself as some would put it. Anyway back to my point its true that nobody considers him/herself perfect in any sense but think about it we are perfectly UN-perfect . So those among us with low self asteem should contemplate and see the reality of it all. Like i said earlier , perfection is everywhere , anywhere and nowhere. Its only how you see it not how you become it.

Its Been Awhile By Staind

it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

Blog Names

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